Pit Crew Walks Out. Annual Pork and Pullet Dinner Cancelled
Frustrated by the law banning a widely popular barbecue sauce, pit master Cyrus “Steelfoot” Moon withdrew his entire crew, leaving the Vigo Springs Moose Lodge Annual Pork & Pullet dinner guests to go hungry. “We won’t baste, we won’t simmer, we won’t cook doodley squat without Doc Crombie’s sauce, said the legendary one-legged Charlestonian and cook-off champion. “Serious fans of barbecue accept no substitute.”
This year’s dinner’s chairman, Harvey “Honey Tone” Postle, Esq., told this newspaper that the much-anticipated annual dinner was always a sell-out due to the use of exceptional cooking ingredients and that “We never reveal the exact recipe.” Postle admitted that he had been advised by Sheriff’s deputy Wilmer Waddell to use only legal substances for cooking this year’s event. Hours later and moments before the official Lighting of The Pit, another deputy, Scomer Waddell arrived with a search warrant, accompanied by State Senator Jasper Snopes. During the deputy’s search, one of the barbecue pitmen drove away in a pickup truck “to get some more oregano”. In an ensuing search of the pit area, no sauce was found. Snopes then volunteered to provide sauce for the event. “In fact, I have some in the trunk of my car. “ After several pit men tasted the proffered substitute, they packed up in protest and left the 200 attendees high, dry and hungry. One said “we insist on Doc Crombie’s sauce. It’s sweet, tangy and frankly, so many people use it, it’s practically legal.”
Haul Hijacked, Law Men Buffaloed
In a daring move, a team of uniformed bandits made off with the contents of a truck full of a mysteriously aromatic substance “most likely illegal,” according to deputy sheriff Opie Waddell. Lying in wait for an expected midnight run, deputies received an anonymous tip that the so-called bootleggers had been held up themselves. Arriving at the scene, deputies found two men dazed and confused—and an empty truck alleged to have been filled with illegal goods. “There weren’t a lick of stuff in the back of that truck,” reported deputy Emmett Fonso. “Just a sweet-tangy aroma like you’d want your barbecued ribs and pullets to smell like hot off the grill.” The truck driver, Monty Buckhead who authorities say works as a yard man part-time for local tooth doctor Ira P. Crombie, said the thieves flagged down their truck on a mountain road above Vigo Springs. “It looked like a Revenuers roadblock, with agents in uniforms, so I got out of the truck. They loaded our shipment in another truck and drove off.” Questioned about the purloined contents, Buckhead and a second man declined to comment and were taken into custody but later escaped and are being sought for further questioning. Amos Zwill, a Federal Revenue spokesman, said no agents had been working that evening. “They were all at a barbecue.”
Ira P. Crombie was better known as Doc to anyone who had their tooth or belly filled with a taste of his BBQ. Doc was known county wide as the Vigo Springs tooth doctor with a knack for sauce. At the behest of his friends and patients, he started entering local BBQ cook offs. When Crombie won Gold at the Charleston County Fair Competition local legislator, Jasper Snopes, took notice. Jasper became jealous when his own sauce continued to get runner up finishes to Crombie’s sauce laden entries at local smoke offs. What started as a friendly rivalry became serious trouble for the Doc as Mr. Snopes passed legislation in 1931 banning the production of Doc Crombie’s Sauces. This ban began the bootlegging of the Doc’s Sauces across the South Carolina country side and a legend was born.
Snopes was a retired law man turned local legislator in Charleston county. Known for his crooked mustache and his BBQ sauce that he thought was liquid gold. He could often be heard saying “There’s no sauce finer in Carolina.” Once a friendly rival to Doc, Jasper’s ire was stoked with a string of second place finishes to Crombie in local smoke offs. This led to Snopes passing legislation banning of the Doc’s Sauces in the Low Country. Instead of eliminating Crombie as a competitor this ban only made Doc’s bootlegged sauce more popular with the people. From then on, Snopes spent his days trying to turn off the spigot of Crombie’s success by attempting to find the secret stills that produced the Doc’s Bootleg BBQ sauces.
Monty was a character known across Charleston County and beyond for his pension for a good time. He worked part time as a yard man and part time for Doc as a “delivery” man. Monty was slender and lean which made him great for those tight spots where sauce, er…dental deliveries needed to be made. Monty also knew a little about tight spots as he served a pinch previously for running whiskey across state lines. He was just the kind of guy that the Doc needed on his crew to keep his bootlegging operation one step ahead of Snopes and his lawmen.
The Crew and YOU....
For decades, stills above Vigo Springs produced a steady flow of the forbidden sauce for the Carolinas. Today, justice is served with the repeal of the dastardly ban and the tradition continues with Crombie’s bootlegging relatives. Dr. Hogan and his brother (pictured above) have bottled and brought the Crombie’s sauce experience to the 21st century.
This is where we need your help! We are looking for members to join our modern day crew to help spread the word about Doc’s Bootleg Sauces. Please sign up here for to become a member of our crew and be automatically entered into our drawings for Doc Crombie’s stuff!